You Can’t Win — But There Are Alternatives

For many of us who live with or alongside Parkinson’s disease, the instinct is to fight.

Fight the symptoms. Fight the progression. Fight the unfairness of it all.

In a world that celebrates victory, perseverance, and overcoming the odds, the language of battle feels natural. We talk about “beating” disease, “winning” against adversity, or “defeating” our limitations. I’ve even heard people say Parkinson’s is going to be sorry it ever met me - as if this were a standoff in an old Spaghetti Western. 

I get the sentiment, but Parkinson’s doesn’t play that game.

In Shrinking, actor and Parkinson’s advocate Michael J. Fox offers a startlingly honest reflection:

“There's a lot of things to say about Parkinson's but the big truth about it is, you don't win. And it’s tough for guys like me who were always very competitive and put a lot of weight on winning, succeeding and accomplishing things. You never forget, the bastard’s always in front of you… You never get ahead of it and it teaches you acceptance. It also teaches you tolerance, it teaches you compassion, it teaches you resiliency… and all in all, at the end of the day you say, ‘I’ll take it. It’s what my lot is.’ And you learn from it.”

At first glance, that idea, you don’t win, can sound like surrender. But it isn’t. It’s a wise and powerful shift in strategy toward acceptance.

A moment from the original Star Wars captures this beautifully. While attempting to escape the tractor beam sucking them into the seemingly indomitable Death Star, Han Solo wants to fire lasers or fire up the engines and fly like hell. But Obi-Wan Kenobi gently reframes the situation:

“You can’t win… but there are alternatives to fighting.”

That line has always felt surprisingly relevant to Parkinson’s. Because Parkinson’s is relentless and, sadly, to this point, undefeated. If the only goal is total victory, eliminating every symptom, outrunning every progression, the disease will always win. You set expectations and expend enormous energy fighting, only to feel defeated when the rules of the game make winning impossible. You don’t win.

But what if the goal isn’t to win? What if the goal is to live well anyway? This happens with “yes, and”. Yes (acceptance) Parkinson’s is part of my life, And because of that I… This is where a different path opens up. Instead of trying to overpower, fight back, or defeat Parkinson’s, it’s possible to discover something more sustainable: acceptance, adaptation, and connection.

Acceptance doesn’t mean liking or even giving into the disease. It means acknowledging reality – you don’t win – at least in the classic sense, so you can move forward with maximum power and influence within it. Acceptance can lead to reframing what winning means and open the door to adaptation: learning new ways to act, communicate, think, and express yourself. Connection means recognizing that none of us are meant to navigate chronic illness alone. It also may mean opening yourself up to and exploring new pathways you never would have or may not have ever imagined. 

In communities built around Parkinson’s, including exercise groups, support networks, Cinema Therapy ensembles, and improvisation classes, you can see this shift happening every day. People stop measuring winning by defeating the disease and start measuring it by something else entirely: laughter shared, narratives rewritten, friendships formed, and courage displayed.

Parkinson’s remains, but it’s no longer the only thing in the room.

When you stop trying to win, you sometimes start discovering things that feel even more valuable: patience, empathy, humor, resilience, and each other. In other words, you stop fighting a battle you can’t win and start living a life you still can. And that might be the most meaningful victory of all.

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